Where It All Began: My Childhood

I memorised the Qur’an when I was just under ten years old. In Somalia, memorising the Qur’an is often the first milestone a child reaches before learning anything else. It is a gift from Allah, one that, alhamdulillāh, still exists today, even though the diligence of the past may not be as widespread.

Practising what I had memorised became an essential part of my life. I carried this discipline through my teenage years, until gradually my efforts weakened. Distractions took over, focus faded, and the weight of this noble responsibility began to slip from my hands. I abandoned my murājaʿah and reduced my relationship with the Qur’an to simply reading from the muṣḥaf as a daily wird, each time less than before, each time giving it less importance.

Anyone who has memorised the Qur’an knows this truth: if you do not hold on to the Qur’an, it leaves you.
I still remember clearly what my Qur’an teacher said to me when I completed my memorisation:

“The Qur’an is like a bird. Hold on to it, otherwise, if you let go, it will fly away.”

As a child, I did not fully understand those words, nor did I heed them. I only came to grasp their meaning later in adulthood when I began to feel the loss. I realised how careless I had been, especially knowing how much my parents had invested in me from childhood until adulthood, when the responsibility was finally placed in my own hands and they could do no more than advise me.That’s when the heaviness truly settled in.

The gift of being a Hafidha a reality I once lived now felt distant. Something I still pray to reclaim, yet often feel far from. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to mend my relationship with the Qur’an. And one of the strongest calls my soul has made is to return to memorisation.

Memorising the Qur’an is an immense journey and a difficult one. It demands sincere intention, duʿāʾ, discipline, hard work, focus, zeal, and consistency. I have begun this journey more times than I can count. Each time, I am filled with overwhelming joy, finally answering the call of my soul. Yet when the initial excitement fades, and all that remains is perseverance and quiet striving, fear creeps in. Fear of the unknown pulls me back to the beginning. And the cycle repeats.

Leaving our comfort zone often unsettles us. It becomes easier to remain where we are than to break patterns, build new habits, and strive to become better versions of ourselves. We all desire success, yet the obstacles along the path can make us forget that struggle is part of the journey. Growth is never linear. It is falling and rising, again and again, until we reach the finish line.

But perhaps the greatest mistake I made was failing to prepare my heart and mind for the days when motivation would be absent. The beginning of any journey is filled with excitement, and in that excitement I neglected to plan for the moments when I would no longer feel inspired. And when those moments came, I gave up.

Another crucial oversight was underestimating the importance of a Qur’an teacher. In the ten to fifteen years that I longed to memorise the Qur’an as an adult, I only had a teacher once and it was the only time I truly progressed beyond what I could achieve alone.
Memorising the Qur’an, though difficult, is not as difficult as maintaining it. And this reality mirrors many aspects of life. Losing weight, for example, is challenging but maintaining a healthy weight is a lifelong commitment, filled with daily struggles.

The Qur’an is no exception. In fact, it is far more sacred. The Qur’an is the Speech of Allah, and it does not remain in a heedless or sinful heart. Preserving the Qur’an requires more than murājaʿah. It calls us to rectify our state with Allah and with His creation. The heart is a home for the Qur’an, and the Speech of Allah does not reside in a dirty, neglected place. It resides in a heart that is purified, perfumed, and illuminated.
To carry the Qur’an is to be vigilant. To guard oneself against the whispers of Shayṭān, the demands of the nafs, and the distractions of the dunya.

Perhaps there was a reason I struggled to begin this journey for so many years. Perhaps there were spiritual barriers I failed to acknowledge, even when I lacked the outward means such as a teacher, a clear plan, or a supportive environment. As I reflect now, I am reminded that nothing happens without wisdom, and that Allah only prepares for us what is best.

As I write this, I stand once again at the beginning of this journey but with deeper understanding, greater humility, and clearer vision. I pray that this time is different. I pray that this is the final attempt, one that leads to completion, by the permission of Allah.

How I Am Restarting My Qur’an Memorisation Journey

1. Renewing My Intention I am constantly reminding myself that this journey is for Allah alone not for titles, praise, or nostalgia. The Qur’an is ibādah before it is achievement.
2. Returning With Tawbah and Heart Rectification Before filling my heart with the Qur’an, I am working on cleansing it through sincere repentance, leaving sins, guarding my tongue, and increasing istighfār.
3. Having a Qualified Qur’an Teacher I am no longer walking this path alone. A teacher brings accountability, correction, barakah, and consistency something I deeply underestimated before.
4. Creating a Realistic, Gentle Plan I am starting small, with consistency over quantity. A plan that fits my life, not an idealised version of it.
5. Prioritising Murājaʿah Over New Memorisation Revision is the backbone of this journey. I am treating murājaʿah as non-negotiable, not optional.
6. Preparing for Low-Motivation Days I am no longer relying on excitement. I am preparing systems for the days I feel tired, distracted, or uninspired because those days will come.
7. Designing a Supportive Environment I am shaping my surroundings to serve the Qur’an: limiting distractions, choosing the right time of day, and making the Qur’an visible and accessible as well as listening to it throughout the day.
8. Strengthening My Relationship With Allah Through Dua and increasing good deed because the Qur’an remains with hearts that are alive.
9. Practising Patience and Self-Compassion I am allowing myself to stumble without quitting. Falling does not mean failure but giving up does.
10. Trusting Allah’s Timing I am releasing the urgency of results and placing my trust in Allah. What is done for His sake is never wasted.
    

May Allah make the Qur’an the light of our heart, the companion of our soul, and the intercessor for us in this life and the next. Ameen.

Until next time…

Peace be with you.