Tell us one thing you hope people say about you.
What people say about me while I am alive will not truly benefit me.
If they praise me, it is only because Allah has concealed my faults from them and allowed them to witness the goodness He bestowed upon me. And if they criticise me, then there is benefit in it for either it is a means for me to correct myself, or it is something beyond my control, in which case I may choose to leave it.
The time that truly matters is after I have departed from this world.
For while I am alive, some remain silent out of shyness, withholding what they truly think. Others may elevate me simply because they do not see the faults Allah, in His mercy, has hidden. But after death, veils are lifted, and what remains is what was truly lived.
“Do good deeds with a quiet voice – in a closed state where no one knows. One day your own deeds will speak itself with a loud voice”
– Hababa Maryam Al Mashhur
This reflection came to me at a time of grief. Grieving the passing of my beloved teacher, Hababa Maryam Al Mashhur. I met her only recently here in Tarim and attended no more than three of her classes, yet she left a mark on my heart deeper than many I have known for decades. After her passing, those who knew her intimately, those who encountered her only a few times like myself, and even those who had merely heard of her, all found themselves grieving and still are. It has only been three days.
What amazes me is that everyone felt close to her. Everyone was impacted; some profoundly, others quietly but no one was untouched.
I can only speak from my own experience, which I have shared in a recent blog post that I will link below. My beloved teacher has left behind an immense legacy. Her departure compelled me to reflect on my own, and on how I would hope to be remembered. And subhanAllah, it was at this moment that this prompt arrived. So here is my reflection.
“This world is like two confinements. The first is our birth, the second is our death. So do something beneficial between the two”
– Hababa Maryam Al Mashhur
When I am gone, this is what I hope they will say about me:
She was a woman of her word.
She was trustworthy.
She helped me in my time of need.
She carried a smile.
She had a beautiful character.
She placed Allah and His Messenger ﷺ before all else.
She was from the people of the Qur’an.
She guarded her tongue and never engaged in backbiting.
She held a good opinion of others.
She gave her time generously to those who needed her.
She was fully present with people.
She was a seeker of knowledge.
She busied herself with learning and spreading the Deen.
She loved deeply and sincerely.
She served the Ummah in whatever way she could.
She was humble.
She loved the Ahlul Bayt.
She was devoted to her worship.
She stood in the night prayer.
She raised her children well.
She was a loving daughter, sister, wife, and mother.
She was gentle.
She loved Rasulullah ﷺ.
She sent abundant salawat.
She was from the people of dhikr.
She was always engaged in khayr.
She bore her trials without complaint.
Her home was a home of knowledge.
She was loved by the young and the old.
She left a legacy behind.
She loved Tarim and its people more than others.
And if all of this were to be distilled into a single statement, this is what I hope they will say:
She was a Tarimi.
And to embody these qualities and be remembered in this way, I know I have much work to do, for I am still far from this aspiration. I pray that Allah enables us all to become better versions of ourselves and draws us closer to what pleases Him.
“Reflection is the lamp of the heart, if it departs the heart will have no light”
– Imam Al Haddad
May Allah envelop Hababa Maryam Al Mashhur in His infinite mercy, elevate her ranks, accept her legacy as ongoing sadaqah jariyah, and allow us to embody even a fraction of what she represented. 🤍
Until next time..
Peace be with you.
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