What is one thing you would change about yourself?

This article is part 4 of my series: “Sacred Living in a Distracted Age,” a journey back to presence, barakah, and God in a world that constantly pulls us away.

My relationship with my phone.

I’ve realised that my smartphone has quietly become one of the biggest distractions in my life small enough to slip into my pocket, yet powerful enough to pull my mind in a hundred directions at once. And if there’s one thing I would change about myself, it’s how often I reach for it without intention.

What makes this struggle more complex is that I don’t reach for my phone only for distraction.

Often, it’s driven by a sincere desire to do heart work.

To learn,
to stay connected to loved ones,
to attend classes,
to read, write, reflect, and respond to things that nourish my mind and soul.

I’m using it right now to write this post! Why ? Because it’s much more convenient than trying to find the time to open my laptop to do it as I know it isn’t possible to start and finish a post without being needed by my little ones.

Because of that, I’ve removed the obviously distracting apps and kept only what feels beneficial. And yet, even with good intentions and better boundaries, I still find myself reaching for it more than I’d like.

I can feel how easily my attention fragments. How even purposeful scrolling can train my mind to crave constant input instead of quiet depth. How presence slips away, even when what I’m consuming is good.

The more I reach for my phone, the less I reach for silence. For stillness. For uninterrupted reflection.

And those are the very spaces where my spiritual life has always felt most alive.

Somewhere along the way, convenience softened my discipline. Constant accessibility thinned my patience.
And stimulation made it harder to simply sit with myself, breathe and just be however beneficial it seems.

Sometimes, in certain seasons of our lives, specific priorities must take precedence over others. Recognising these seasons and responding to them with intention is part of living in alignment with what Allah wills for us. It requires discernment: the ability to look beyond the shiny, immediate, and tempting, and instead choose what is most nourishing, necessary, and aligned right now. Not every opportunity is meant to be pursued, and not every distraction is a blessing. There is wisdom in honouring the priority Allah places before us in each season, and peace in resisting the pull of what merely sparkles but does not truly serve our hearts or our akhirah.

I’m grateful for loved ones who share the responsibility of child rearing with me. I am forever grateful for these selfless individuals that are always here to help me without hesitation. I pray Allah grants them the help they need in both worlds.

As a mother, this awareness lands even heavier.

I notice moments when my body is with my children, but my attention is divided pulled gently yet persistently by a device that promises benefit, connection, and productivity. It’s uncomfortable to admit, but honest to acknowledge: even good use, when undisciplined, can leave me overstimulated, undernourished, and spiritually tired.

So if you ask me what I would change about myself, it’s not that I want to abandon my phone completely.

I want to build discipline around it.

I want to return to mindful morning and evening routines, gentle beginnings and quiet endings where I reach for my book and pen, not my phone. I miss the depth that came from writing by hand, from journaling slowly, letting thoughts unfold without a screen lighting the way or notifications tugging at my focus.

There was a different kind of presence in those moments: reflection without interruption, intention without urgency. I want to reclaim that rhythm again, to let my mornings start in stillness and my evenings settle in gratitude, allowing my heart to process, pray, and reflect on paper just as I used to before technology learned how to speak over my silence.

Because I know this device is not inherently bad. It allows me to learn, to grow, to stay connected, and to engage in meaningful work. But without discipline, even beneficial tools can quietly take more than they give.

The change I seek is simple, but not easy:

To use my phone intentionally.
At the right times.
For the right reasons.

And to reclaim my attention as something worthy of protection.

I pray we use these devices in the very things that connect us to Allah at the time he wants us to not when our nafs says so.

Until next time…

Peace be with you.